Returning to Normal

I have been out of pocket lately.  I had surgery a couple of weeks ago.  I had my nasty gallbladder taken out and have been recovering.
There are a few things that you need to know if you have to have this wonderful, little procedure done.

1st
 Having surgery on your belly SUCKS!!!  I had to hold a pillow against my stomach to get up and down. Yes, including going to the bathroom.  For all those ladies who have had c-sections, you have my greatest sympathy.  I don't ever want to have anymore babies if it results in a c-section. 

2nd
Percocet 10's and I don't have a love relationship.  I felt like I was having an out of body experience everytime I took one.  I would be fine for about 15 minutes and the BOOM I felt like I was floating away.  It did help the pain, though.  I guess that's good.  I don't like not feeling my body.  It's a bit creepy.  It's like those shows you see where the guy is looking down at his body.  I would just look down at my hand and wonder if it was really mine.

3rd
I want a big, fat, juicy cheeseburger or fried chicken.  Can I have it?  No!  Come on that's not fair!  All the good stuff is off the table.  I want to clog my arteries and eat whatever I want.  Unfortunately, my poor, deprived belly says I can't.  It's been 2 weeks and I have to wait at least 4 weeks until I can chance eating those yummy meals.  On the plus side, this not eating anything has dropped 5 pounds.  Woohoo!  I can fit back into some of my pre-pregnancy clothes. 

Any who!
Sebastian has been visiting all hs grandparents.  He loved going to the alligator park, hiking a nature trail, watching Ice Age 4, going to a fair, camping and fishing at Indian Creek, riding bikes, and playing with all the puppy dogs.  Holy cow!  How am I going to get him to come home with me?  I am so glad that he has been able to get some love from his grandparents.  He missed me!!!  He came in the door and ran and hugged me.  He's been randomly giving me hugs and kisses.  Geez!  I love that boy.

Lily has been a rotten mess!  Thanks Daddy!  She loves to take walks in her stroller.  She wants to be held constantly.  Her daddy misses her when he works so much so he holds her and lets her sleep on his chest.  Secretly, I don't mind.  I like that he is so in love with our kids.
Lily has been rolling over for a bit now.  She likes to sleep on her belly.  She has two teeth on the bottom now and is sitting up almost completely on her own.  She still wobbles a bit, but for the most part she is sitting.

Well, enough for now.  Have a wonderfully, blessed day.

Hospitals, Pain and Blessings

This past week has been a whirlwind.  I went to the hospital Sunday and was sent home with pain meds.  I set up to see a surgeon to get my gall bladder taken out.  Tuesday, the pain had me in tears and off I went again to the hospital.  This time they admitted me.  Wednesday, the surgeon comes in and says that she doesn't think it's my gall bladder.  She wanted to do more tests.  More tests lasted until Friday.  They did a scope and saw no ulcers and the GI doctor said it was the gall bladder.  I have to go in Monday at 7:45 to do a HIDA scan.  Then, Tuesday meet with the surgeon again.

Tonight the pain is pretty intense, but I don't want to take any pain meds.  It has made me so sad this week to pump and dump so much milk.  Tomorrow, I will have to pump and dump through Wednesday.  They will be injecting me with radiation.  I wish I could just feed my girl.  I know I would love to be feeling better and this is a step in the right direction.  I just want to hold my little girl and feed her.  I missed her so much this week while I was in the hospital.  I cried just wanting to go home.  I missed Sebastian, too.  It hurts more when your babies aren't around and there's nothing you can do about it.  I am glad he was with his grandparents and cousins.  He had a wonderful time.  For that I am grateful and thankful.

I am so worried that tomorrow will show that the gall bladder is working fine and they have no idea what is going on.  Then what?  More tests??  As a mom, our minds start going in a hundred bad directions.   What if it is worse than the gall bladder?  Cancer? I don't want to miss out on my babies getting bigger.  I don't want to miss seeing Sebastian driving a car or Lily's first date.  I know that my mind is running away with me and that I shouldn't be worried.  I know that God is in control no matter what.  Still, the mind wanders.

If it is the gall bladder, we will be pretty ticked to know that this could have been taken care of when I was in the hospital.  This is just keeping me from my babies and pain free.  I am exhausted with trying to figure these doctors out.  I know they are doing their job and making sure.  BUT REALLY????  You have only seen me for 5 minutes a day!!!  How can you expect to know what is wrong with me?  You pushed on my belly.  I showed you where it hurt!  4 different doctors!!!  Come on guys!  Figure it out!

Anyway, I love my sweet babies and am so blessed that God has given them to me.  They make me smile each day.  Sebastian and his sweet, lovable self.  Lily and her "I want my mama" cry.   I love when Sebastian crawls up in bed and cuddles with me in the mornings.  I love how excited he gets when he does something new.  I love how Lily laughs at Sebastian.  I love how she wakes up with the biggest smiles and jabbers all morning.  These are the things I cherish.

Eric has been a rock through all of this.  He has helped me pee, pump, and wiped away my tears.  By the way, he never thought he would ever have to help me pee but hospital pain meeds deemed it necessary.  I was very wobbly.  He is the one who has held my hand and prayed with me.  He is the one who has loved me through it all.  I am so blessed to have such a wonderful husband.

All of that to say, pray for us.  Pray that this test shows what is wrong.  Pray that the doctors can fix the problem.  Pray that my milk supply stays up.  Pray that Sebastian doesn't worry too much.  Pray that all goes well.  God hears our prayers and answers them!